So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize