david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
