My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize