So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
