I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
