I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
