so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
