What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
