WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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