i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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