My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
