pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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