At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
