Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Randomize
