i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
