If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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