Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
