new low.... made out with someone while peeing
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
