He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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