He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
