I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Randomize
