is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
