you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Randomize
