Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I am in a vortex of obligation.

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(650): View more from California

Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.

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(513): View more from Ohio

Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide

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(703): View more from Virginia

capris are just wrong

(703): View more from Virginia

its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"

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(519): View more from Ontario

Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.

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(339): View more from Massachusetts

When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave

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(407): View more from Florida

Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?

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(914): View more from New York

I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.

(1914): View more from

You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car

(1-843): View more from South Carolina

Good for her for committing to the costume

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