As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Randomize
