i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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