you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
