Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
