Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
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