Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
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