Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
