First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize