Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
