Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
