all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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