He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Never underestimate the power of titties
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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