i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
