States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Vodka?
Forever.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
