dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
