HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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