i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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