Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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