I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
