yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
The adults are the big ones right?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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