you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
