He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
A bitchslap is in order.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
You did what with his pubic hair?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
