no, he came in my armpit
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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