Walk of Shame today included voting.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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