Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize