Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Randomize
