Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize