he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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