I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
