He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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