Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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