organizing the empties. That sober.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
A+ Viking dick
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
