I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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