seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
