No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
