drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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