Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
