Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
My brain says no but my pants say off.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
