Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
