What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
