ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
