? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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