you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Randomize
