It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
