I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Randomize
